News Flash!! An unidentified source who claims to have access to documentation by the French Police has disclosed that they are hot on the trail of Lance Armstrong and the Discovery Team for yet another crime. The French Police have evidence from the Italian Police that Lance Armstrong had been hiding Osama Bin Laden in the Team bus during the Tour de France. Evidently Bin Laden had been using the team bus as a hide-out since the 1999 Tour de France. This year, Osama had been wearing a Discovery Team tee shirt, Nike tennis shoes and had borrowed George’s new sunglasses as a disguise. Osama had been in charge of cleaning the expresso machine, but was seen by an unidentified source sneaking in and out of the team hotel carrying a blue ice-chest to disguise the caffeine-laden expresso machine....

Upon reading this in L’Creep, La Merde, and other media sources, Jean Marie LeBlanc immediately announced to the press that Lance owed his fans and his country an explanation, because the connection of Osama to Lance and the Team had been proven beyond a reasonable doubt - Hey, it was printed in the newspapers - what more does one need?